Saturday, September 5, 2009 / 7:57 AM
Since I am writing in a girl’s perspective, this is also vice versa for guys too.
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve, heck no, you can't '' be friends ''. A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think it will get better. You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't ever make him feel he is more important than you are.. even if he is more educated. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you. You need time to heal between relationships. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to complete you.. a relationship consists of two whole individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary. Make him miss you sometimes.. when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him. He takes it for granted. Don't fully commit yourself to be with a man who doesn't give you everything you need.
It makes me wonder how many times I forgive just because I don’t want to lose anyone, even if they don’t deserve my forgiveness. Never apologize to someone when you know you don’t mean it. I may forgive easily, but trying to gain my trust will be the hardest thing you will ever face. And now it’s so difficult for me to see the world without remembering what I had to go through because when I let these people into my life, I don’t want to let them go, and when they screw up it’s like, why would you do this to me? I gave them my trust, I gave them my feelings, I put our friendship on the line, and they still fucked me over. It’s like I wished they were a better person. But you know? With all the things I’ve been through this past year, I’ve learned to know who the realest are and to be there for them as much as they are there for me. I know people say that the biggest mistake you can make is drifting apart from someone that you once had the time of your life with. It’s true, but don’t get me wrong, this entire year has been an amazing experience because life itself showed me why do I need to hang onto someone who doesn’t mean the things that they say? But you know what? I’m really glad that with these experiences I learned not to trust others easily nor to forgive people that doesn’t deserve my forgiveness even if I want them to stay in my life. I was always taught that the storm and love are quite common to each other. You never know exactly when they hit, and if you don’t seize an opportunity, you never know when it will come again and you may be sorry afterwards. Even though they don’t turn out how I want them to be, I’m not sad, I’m not angry, I’m not going to regret, but I am going to smile, I am going to stay strong and I am going to persevere to learn. So to the both of you that I once truly loved and cared about so much, don’t worry about me anymore. I am stronger than you think I am. And I hope you know that I am thankful that you guys put me through all this because you know why? Because all those times that you guys tried to put me down and it really hurt me, underneath myself is what I found. You guys were the one that made me strong; you made me stand up on my own with every cruel intention, and you helped me find my independence. But you know? I hope you look at these things through my eyes and remember why I took the time to care, love and put my trust into you guys so much. Remember that those who don’t care about what you do or who you are simply won’t care later on. Those who cared from day one will simply leave you and if you’re lucky, you might reunite. Those who’ve told you not to do things you’ve done that was wrong will always care about you. Those who hate you will love you later even though if they don’t show it. When things get too good, nothing bad happening, you know right there it’s all a lie because it’s too good to be true so don’t get your hopes up too high. When people tell you that they don’t care with anger, they simply don’t want you to repeat the same steps. Those who’ve listened to your speeches will always remember what you’ve said. To be honest, no one should feel sorry for me, the people that you should feel sorry for my friends are the people that have done me wrong; not me.
So I'll say this now to the both of you,
I never needed you to be strong,
I never needed you to point out my wrongs,
I never needed you to put me through pain,
My love for you was strong enogh you should have known,
I never needed you for judgements,
I can take care of myself,
I don't know why you think you've got a hold on me,
I get the final say because..
I don't want to do this any longer,
I never needed you to be there every day,
I'm sorry for the way you let me slip away because i know you won't find someone who is gonna care as much as i do,
I will never feel as if I am beaten to my own game, broken, not defeated,
I know that being next to you guys is not where I belong,
So the truth is I've never fooled anyone. I've let people fool themselves. They didn't bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn't argue with them. They were obviously loving somebody I wasn't.