facebook: Cee Nguyen,
employed
& not interested

In the end, everyone screws you over in one way or another, whether they are your "mains", or simply just strangers. There's never a way to prevent it from happening, it just happens and you can either hold a grudge and resent that person for the rest of your life, or you simply be the bigger person - move on and leave the past in the past.You have a great heart if you are willing to forgive that person but remember, forgiving does not erase what has committed ... hence: forgive but never forget. It's one thing to talk shit and back stab someone, but to lie about it after you have been caught is so stupid. It shows how cowardly you are, to be able to say something "behind" someone's back, yet when you are being confronted, you run out of words to say. Where did all those words go ? Really, is it that hard to tell someone straight up and just be real, even if it is for one day? Oh, funny thing - why do people change the subject and loop around the "real deal". LOL .. like, I'm pretty sure whoever is confronting you doesn't want to hear about your random shit. Just stick to the subject and stop fronting. Anyway, the main point is, don't talk shit when you are not able to back it up. Don't keep many "friends" around, because that's how you get screwed over. So I choose my friends wisely and don't say anything i'll regret BECAUSE, what goes around, comes around .

I thought we’d always make it so I held you on so tight
Thought we’d never break down thought everything was so right.
I gave you my all because I knew we belong, how couldn’t you see?
Cause I put everything that I had within me.
But you thought dumb; you thought I was doing you wrong.
You thought that the things I said and did were lies all along.
It hurts me to know that you couldn’t stay to see me change.
I’m always crying knowing that things will never be the same.
I can’t get my mind off of you, I know because I’ve tried.
You left me with nothing but my dignity and my pride.
I’m a wreck without you because I miss you so much.
You told me from day one that you would never give up.
Look at us now baby, the old you is dead and gone.
I still have trouble sleeping because I simply can’t move on.
Never thought you would leave and we’d have to be apart.
Even though you moved on, you’ll never leave me heart.
Time passes by slowly, ever since you left me this way
the things we said and did, I wish we can take it back to May.
Your words I cant forget there glued into my mind,
Your love was unique something you don’t always find.
I thought we were serious that it wasn’t just a fling
But because you walked out of my life these are the words I sing
Walking through these days with the impression of your face
I’m strolling in a daze like a never ending maze.
I know aftertime, there are boys that I’ll meet
But you’ll always be the one that could really sweep me off my feet.
I gave you that second chance, cause to me you never lied.
Aside from when you left that’s the reason why I cried.
I knew you would understand and now you’re moving on so soon,
You’re the only on who keeps me going so I won’t get over you.
But I don’t understand why, and I guess it shows…
But when you love someone you gotta let them go.

you're okay cee, sm:)e !


this whole age group is caught up in "swag".
not any of it is original, it's what you glimpse in the mags..
its about the plaid, nah the kicks, nah its about the skinnies, fitteds gallore,
can someone deliver this tiring topic, because these days peoples "style" is poor.
understand fashion, this is what i stare upon, and believe me all of this shit i see is something im not to fond.. cause its like a song on utter repeat,
you think youre going hard, but hunny you aint that smart,
cause those pair of shoes you’re wearing are on everybodies feet.
its like grills.. those are very two thousand and seven
do you think your cool when you flash a smile, hunny all you look is begging?
why cant individuals wear something that not every one else is displaying...
i get so aggravated when i see girls and guys wearing the sameish, im just saying.
sticthes is where girls go to get something cute for less than "20 bones"
you look ridiculous in your stitches outfit, save the embarrassment and go home,
every man feels nice these days because they know about live stock,
new pair of shoes? why? you can't even afford to buy yourself a pair of socks..
like get real for a minute, cause im tired of seeing you all busting out fake..
mans are trynna say "take it in i got bape on my back" when it’s just baked...

look different rather than like manicans.

Without you my days are "Sadday," "Moanday," "Tearsday," "Wasteday," "Thirstday," "Fightday," and "Shatterday".

Why am I such a sucker? A sucker for love that is. I feel like we're in some kind of love story. And in this story, I'm the nerdy high school girl, and you're the cool jock kid that doesn't notice me. In the end of story, we both fall in love and lived happily ever after. "Please don't ever leave me", I want to be with you my whole life. But we both know we'll both be going on different paths, someday. Until than, imma hold you down and give you my all. Though you're nothing like the "prince charming" I imagined you to be, you're everything that I need. It's funny because I would have never imagined you being my baby, thought we would always be just best friends. I remember it all as if it was only yesterday... "I need to tell you something.." you asked me what I wanted to tell you, and I said, "Okay so like.. thats basically it, "like". I like you." That was a weird way to word my feelings, but whatever. But damn, look at us now-- we went from a simple crush into love. Through all my bitching, you stayed with me and putted up with me. You're amazing-- I can't even describe you with that word. I love you baby, always did & always will ♥


Meet our baby, Rachel Alexia Magnaye!

She's beautiful! She got it from her mommma!

fucking fed up.

Is there always that one person, that no matter what he says or does -- you're never going to let him go, cause he means that much to you? No matter how much you wanna give up on him, you always seem to run back to him as if nothing happened -- when you two both know things will never be the same. No matter how much you want your baby back, you just got to learn to let go. Let go for a better life. Let go so that he's the happy one, whether he's with you or not. Would you rather want him to suffer the pain you put him through the rest of your life, or let him be with someone that will treat him 10x better than you did? Talking to you on the phone about how I miss the days when we were just "best friends". You see how happy we were? Our msn conversation would always be like a chapter each day. I told you how I wanted you to bring that back, but it's not you that stopped those days. I did. I constantly picked out every little things you say to me and argued with you. Now when we talk, you have to think about what you're saying before you say it to me just cause you don't want me mad. I'm sorry, I took out my anger on you. I also told you to forget about me these next few weeks. I want you to, just cause you don't deserve me. To be honest, the whole time I've only been caring about myself. I've been so happy with you, that I don't even realize what I've been doing to you. Confession time. While you were away at Florida, I've been talking to others boys... Nothing serious though. It was just a "fling" as you people would call it. Truthfully, I only thought about you the whole time. Ever since you came back, I stopped. I isolated myself from everyone, just to catch up on things with you. I never actually succumb until lastnight. 3 in the morning right? When you texted me how you couldn't sleep. What was I doing? Reading over all the text msgs that weren't from you or my girls. "Babe, i miss you" or "Baby call me" .. I'm sucha fuck up. I knew I had the perfect boy, and I took advantage of that. I thought to myself, "lets do it, just cause he won't find out". I've changed though, change cause I care so much about you. Damn, out of all the boys.. You're the one I chose. I'm so much better with you. But who am I kidding? In the end, I just have to tell you the truth.. Cause I truely love you. Yeah, I love you. That's rare to hear that from me, but i fucking love you. Love you with all my heart! Love you like no other girl can love her boyfriend. Just, simply love you.

I hope this note helps you understand why I said those things on the phone. I miss you Francis, let go for me ♥
trusting you has never been a problem,
it was always so easy,
not needing to worry about who or what you're doing,
when we're not together,
only 'cos i knew that you'd make the better judgement,
and that kept me satisfied.

am i a fool to trust you?
or do i look like a fool 'cos im worrying about something,
that could be nothing?

don't mistake me, 'cos i may be wrong on this,
but if me, alone,
if i'm not enough, and you need more than this,
let me know, please,
'cos im not hanging around just to be told,
"i want you, .. and her."

am i crazy 'cos i think you'll change?
or do i seem crazy, to think that you'll change FOR ME?

i don't even know who HER is, so i can't even hate,
but maybe it's me that's the problem,
or she's hella distracting, and you can get sidetracked quickk,
it hasn't been an overnight thought,
it just took me awhile to add everything up,
and realize what it might mean ...,
tell me whats good, let you're girl know what's up,
'cos i think i deserve atleast that.

.. don't you?

I must say, this weekend was pretty live.. alie? LOL .

I don't want anyone perfect, I don't want anyone who makes me laugh. I don't want anyone to treat me right, I don't want anyone who brightens my day. I don't want anyone who knows me inside out, I don't want any prince charming, knight in shining armour, whatever the shit . I don't want anyone 99% good to me, I don't want anyone who shares my interests. I don't need money, I don't need to be happy. I don't need anyone who would change for me. I don't want anyone or anything else but you.

I love this song, If This Isn't Love by Jennifer Hudson.
This song basically just backs up what I'm feeling.

I’m calling his phone up
Just to tell him how much
I really love him ‘cause
His everything I want
He listens to me, he cares for me
So I truly believe

God sent me an angel
Up from above
That’s gonna love me for life
Might as well be perfect only because
It’s the only way I can describe, so

It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I could be dreaming or just plain crazy
It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I never felt like this baby
If this isn’t love

L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh if this isn’t love
L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh if this isn’t love

I’m selfish ‘cause I don’t
Wanna share him with nobody
Not even knows
People that came before me
But see, I never believed

God would send me an angel
Up from above
That’s gonna love me for life
Might as well be perfect only because
It’s the only way I can describe, so

It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I could be dreaming or just plain crazy
It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I never felt like this baby
If this isn’t love

L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh if this isn’t love
L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh

So if you got real love
Lemme see you put your hands up
See you put your hands up
The kind of love that fits quite like a drug
Lemme see you put your hands up
See you put your hands up
If this isn’t love
‘Cause I know I ain’t crazy
I know I ain’t tripping
I know I ain’t slipping
I know that is love
You see me with my hands up
If you think I’m dreaming
I know I ain’t dreaming
‘Cause this is the reason I love him because
If this isn’t love

It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I could be dreaming or just plain crazy
It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I never felt like this baby

L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh if this isn’t love
L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh if this isn’t love

Love, L-O-V-E
Love, L-O-V-E
3:10pm right now, I don't know what to do. Plans are flopped today because my girl never called me. I acutally got ready today too, ugh how I hate flipino girls soo much! Most of them are alright, but then most just cheeeses me! My day was so suckish, and it's so damn beautiful outside! It's funny how he left, and the rain just went away. Please stay there! HAHHAHHA. I'm only playing. ugh, honestly I don't even know what to write now, just cause nothing happened today. Maybe I'll go out later, perhaps. Anyways, I just finished watching the FUNNIEST shit ever! Randolph Martinez in a fight! HAHAHA. Tell me how this man talks SOO bright, but when it comes down to a fight, he's fucking DODO. LOL! I mean, I'm not even that much of a fighter, and I can smash him. Trust me yo, my baby cousin can fucking knock him. HAHHA! Okay, i might be boosting, but honestly.. Who fights like that?! Whether it was a real fight or not, you don't ever do that! HAHAHA. Okay, I'll stop talking about his lame punches.. Mabuhay Cup this weekend!? Should I reach that? I don't know yo, it's such a mission.. And I like forgot all about it too ! I already had plans with other people, but then I also told Jeri-lou and Ivan that I would watch them play! Shit yo, I wouldn't even know how to get there! But yeah anyways, I'm going to go swim now.. I'll blog some more later :)

Randolph Martinez & Andrew Blair's Fight! CLICK HERE :)
Love so strong 8/5/09/div>
Before I was scared to love you.
Now I'm scared to lose you.

I can honestly say life’s amazing, now that I have you for myself. You amaze me baby boy, I’ve never been able to keep a man for this long. Something about you that makes me wants to stay. Something about you that make me want you even more. Something about you that gets me head over heels in love. Something about you that I can’t really express in words. From day one, you’ve always been on my mind. I can’t get you off my mind because you’re meant to be there. Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control. I sound like some high school girl waiting for love. Yeah, you’re just a boy to others, but to me you’re the world. But boy, does it feel like I’m going way too fast for you. It feels like I’m two steps a head of you or better yet, you’re two steps behind. When will you be on my level? When will you feel what I feel? When will you open up to me? I truly hate waiting for you. However, I just can’t seem to let you go. They say they couldn’t see us not being anything more than just friends – but I disagree. I consider you more than just a friend. You mean way too much to me to be just “a friend”. It’s amazing how you can break my heart except not know when, but in the end I still love you with all the little pieces. Yes I know, “love” is such a strong word, but I truly feel it around you.

So today, I caught myself smiling for no reason… then I realized that I was thinking about you. Would it be weird if I told you I wanted to be with you forever? Defiantly. If I truly liked you, then the only thing I would want for you is to be happy… even if it’s not with me. I’ll be happy for you. I think you would want to see me happy just as happy as you are. Anyways, getting off topic! “If you love someone tell them… because hearts are often broken by words left unspoken.” SO…

Mahal kita, je t’adore, sarang heyo, em yeu anh.
I love you ♥

lifes too short to dwell on all thats wrong

lifes too short to dwell on all thats wrong 8/19/09

it pains me to say it, but i still think of him everyday. every hour. why? the thing is, i don't have an answer to that. he might say the stupidest things ever, but thats honestly not keeping me from remembering everything about him. its funny how in life, you can be the happiest person in the world one second, but the next, a person can change the odds of that in a split second. i honestly don't know how that works out, but thats how things go sometimes. and i also honestly don't understand relationships; in one or not. single or loving him/her. either way, i find relationships not worth it now. everyone always wants to be in one, always wants to be loved. everyone is always looking for someone to hold hands with, but why? are you honestly looking for trouble? looking for tears? looking for someone to break your heart? f'reals, relationships are just too complicated. be real. this is what your in for. the truth is, if your in a relationship right now, things are NOT going to last forever. "baby, it's you and me forever." THATS A LIE ! nothing lasts forever. take in our age right now. in a couple of years, our asses are going to be in collage or university. we are going to be studying for our careers, not exactly puppy loving our man/girl, like we used to. "oh baby, i love you." oh baby NO! you don't love anyone. fcuk, don't use the word love, cause you know your not going to be with the person your saying that to 10 years from now. love is strong. love is something sacred. love is something that will never hurt you. love is something that you share with someone you know your going to spend the rest of your life with. love is NOT a word to be roused around. its serious, and its dangerous. some people just don't understand how much you can effect a person when using those 3 words. i love you. 3 simple words. three. so easy to say, but so hard to mean. the whole point is, don't crave to be with someone. let things fall in place. we are young, and have many years to come. hearts will broken, and tears will be shed, but don't rush. be careful how you express your feeling to someone. be very careful. be careful in the words you use to someone. be very careful. you yourself, deep inside, know what your intentions are. no one is humanly capable of knowing what your intentions are.
like someone, tell them, show it, keep your words. don't love just yet.
like someone, tell them, show it, leave, you've just broke a heart.
play around and it will come back. what goes around, comes around, sounds so retarded; but when you regret it, thats when that split second occurs, and you regret everything that you've done in the past. for now, like, be in relationships, have fun. love is later.
be truthful and honest, watch how you present yourself to a person, and definitely watch what you say ..

cause his three stupid words effected her in such a big way yup.
s' all i have to say.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009 / 3:35 PM

A Baby Of My Own

A Baby Of My Own 8/4/09

Honestly, call me weird but, it just makes me want to give my whole self to someone just for a new life. You know? You don't understand how madly in love I am when it comes to babies or little kids. The whole day today I spent my time watching youtubes of CUTIES! Yeah man, that's how I got onto this topic. Instead of chilling with Jenny and her niggas, I stayed home watching babies! Yeah man, I'm cool. The one thing I find interesting is NIGGA babies. I'll be like, "Oh I don't like black boys" but then a minute later I'll be like, "I want to fuck one". LMFAO! Confusing? Nah. I just love how proper an asian and a nigga baby turns out. In my perspective, Asian and a nigga mix is fucking cute! The nappy hair and the Asian skin tone is fucking nice! I want my baby to be so beautiful growing up. I want like, 5 kids the highest! But than again, I'm scared going through that much pain, but it's worth it y'know? You're probably thinking, "what the fuck?!" LOL. I know, but whatever. I want a baby! Just saying. What would I name it? If it were to be a girl, than DEFIANTLY, Rebbecca or Lily. If it were to be a boy, than I would want to name him, Vince. Vince is such a cute name! Marry me already baby! ♥

So my girl just left. Isabella is sucha cutie! I haven't seen her in the longest time! I miss you bestfriend! Today was actually a nice day, got to see someone that I know I can TRUELY rely on. So our plan was basically last minute, so I had like 20 minutes to get ready -- which didn't really help.. because she came over and she had to wait for me to get my shit together. Anyways, so we just walked around in my neighbour hood.. Not really much, but it was nice talking to someone that I know I can always depend on. We talked about everything, from school to our boy problems. She took my advice, I took her advice. Damn yo, everything feels so in place when I'm talking to her. I miss you bestfriend, hopefully you can sleep over Friday night! ♥

Monday, August 3, 2009 / 5:06 PM

A Night To Definatly Remember

A Night To Definatly Remember 8/3/09

yesturday, i woke up really early at like.. 8am to get ready, and i had to be at chuch by 9am, so i did my hours from 9 - 1pm . very, very, boring ! but than we had a bbq at my house, so i asked my girls to come over - megan and jenny. so they came over, we ate alot.. i was so FULL ! holy craap. and then we decided to go to the movies , so my uncle drove us to trinity. we didn't even watch a movie, lol . we wanted to watch a movie , but we had to be home by 10pm.. so we would have to watch a 9pm movie, but there was none.. so we didnt wanna wait for another movie, so we played DDR the whole time. shiiiet yo, i suck . then we didnt have money for anymore DDR , and we didnt wanna spend money to bus.. so we were planning to walk it to jennys house.. OH SHIT, i forgot to mention the indian man part.. okay well this OLD indian guy came up to megan and was like, "hey, what movie are you girls watching? " and then shes liek, "nah.. we aint watching a movie. we're bout to leave". and then i came in, and i asked him if he wanted to pay for all of us .. and hes like, "ill pay if you if you watch with me.. " and then we were like, "oh yeah .. we'll watch with you. " and then hes like, "are you sure you wont just leave me? " LMFAO. what a man.. so then we waited in line for tickets.. and then i needed to peee! so we left him to go to to the washrooom.. and when we came out, he was waiting for us. LOL! HAHAH. so then yeah , we ignored him and we went to go sit at the tables, thinking of whether i should get a new cell or not .. and then he left, we were bout to go walk home.. and he drives by us and asks us where we were going.. and then i asked him if he could drive us home. LOL! so then hes like yeah.. so then he drove us, jenny told him the directions.. and then he was like, "its so early.. how about we just go out?!" LOL! we kept telling him no.. but he kept asking. and then it got to the point where we wanted to get out of the car, and hes like.. "no ill drive you then." so then jenny told him to stop infront of this random house.. and when we got out of the car, the man was like, "call me" . no one tooook his number but me .. 416 602 5050 ! YEEEE. haha i lied. but yeah, then megan had to go home, so i slept over at jennys. then i talked to darwin most of the time, just because hes my niggga!

enough of yesturday... so today, i woke up jenny at 10am . and then we went to my house to eat the leftover bbq. afterwards we went to the mall, cos jenny wanted to get me a phone. im getting a prepaid one still.. but unlimited texting and free evening & weekend 7pm-7am. jennys paying for my phone which is like.. 100$. and im paying for that certain plan - $30/month. s'ook.. LG's are so shit though, but w/e. as long as i have a phone, im goooood! im so fucking tired right now, i just came back from the mall.. like the whole day it was fucking walking. so tired ! -__- oh and did i tell you how we hitched a ride? we were waiting for the bus... but we got tired of waiting. so this nigga boy drove by us, and we asked for a ride. and then he gave us a ride :) but then he charged us fucking $5.. wtf. fucking boys ! hes like, "yo i need that money for the gas." stupid boys !

WORD YO , I ♥ my PRETTY BITCHES!

Sunday, August 2, 2009 / 12:28 PM

Love's such a hot topic 8/2/09 6:40 PM

Love? Word, i swear its such a hot topic now a days.
Kay so, do you remember when love and sex use to be something where we were all afraid of or something everyone would try and avoid because it was for someone special? Love, we use to be afraid to say it - it use to take us like a million years to even say that we love someone that wasnt family, and now its coming out of eveyrones mouth like a childs gotta have candy. It's humour to me now, when im with a man and like were about 2 weeks into the relationship and hes already telling me that he loves me. Are you fucking crazy? We've probably known eachother for months, half of these months we proabbly dind't even talk and now we've been 2 weeks together and you love me? You don't know anything about me... and here we go when i see little kids in grade 5 or 6 not known what love is and yet they love their girlfriends or boyfriends that they've known for 2 days. Also when people break up and they've been dating for about 3 months, i understand you being upset, but telling people that your gonna kill yourself and that you cant live without her or him? LOL you've been living your life for about 15-17 years now before you probably dated this person and now your gonna throw that all away because you guys cant go a day without the person and like a week later you have a new "toy" that you already tell them you love them. LMFAO! And this "forever" thing, makes me fucking laugh - you guys will NOT be together forever as much as you want to, you may be together for a long time but not forever. And to the little boys and girls who tell their beloved girlfriend or boyfriend you guys are gonna be forever and then go cheat and break their hearts before you can even hirt pubirty - get fucking real.

-Cece Pham

----------------------

Anyways, so I'm pretty sure you're reading this Francis.. So if you are, HI BABY ! Anyways, I didn't tell you exactly how my day was yesturday.. Shit! In the morning I went on the computer to check if I got any msgs from you , and then my father comes out bitching at me how I'm always on the computer from morning to night. And i'm like.. yeah whatever. So i went into my room and got changed cause i needed to do my hours. And usually, me and Amanda would always close our room doors just because we're use to it .. I don't know. But yeah, we didn't hear our mom callling us.. So our dad bitched at us for how we never talk to them, and how we always talk on the phone.. I think he was bitching at me more rather than my sister. Just because he bitched on Friday night. Seriously, i'm so fucking tired of him. Remember when i told you i had to buy Lemons for the lemonade? Well yeah, my dad called me.. And i responded with a, "what.." not just a what.. but like a "WHAT?!". He bitched at me more, i went up into my room cheesed.. And i thought to myself, "who will i talk to now , now that my babys gone.. ". Then tears came rolling down, i missed you. Thinking of you, made me cry. I'm so soft, whatever. Fuck you then :) LOL. But yeah afterwards, i went to the church to go do my hours... I met these two flipino girls that are going to St. Francis Xavier, they're really nice. Really fobby as well.. Like you. HAHAHA! Other than that, shit day i can say (N). Hope you're having fun in Florida right now, i miss you baby. ♥